Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, and just happening. Interesting that despite what each of us thinks are hugely important trials and tribulations, really most of the rest of the world does not care. Not at first that seems a bit demoralizing, in the 'no one cares about me' sense. But when you really think about it, it's really liberating in that 'the entire world is not that concerned with what I am doing, so I can do what I want and be happy' sense. This is just one of the many interesting points I came away from the Landmark Forum with (I did it the weekend of Feb 10-13). It's an interesting process. I originally decided to go at the suggestion of Rose. I really didn't know what to expect, but I was sad and upset and figured I'd try anything once :) Luckily she had warned me going in that it could be a little salesy, which helped me keep things in perspective. I mean if Rose went into it and didn't like the 'hard-sell' side of things, but still felt like it was an amazing experience and worth doing... well let's just say it helped keep my mind open.
The interesting part of the whole thing is that a lot of what is said/taught in the forum is fairly intuitive, common sense sort of stuff. In fact in many ways it's the simplicity of it that makes it so powerful. It's also what makes us so resistant to it, because we as humans somehow feel like we should have been able to figure it out on our own if it were that easy. I guess that is the foil of our ego. I was able to really take a step back from my life and take a look at how what I had been doing was affecting all the relationships I have in my life (love, work, friends, etc). By seeing where you have been a cause in your own problems gives you the authority and power to be the solution in them as well. Once I had been able to really see myself as the cause of my life, because it's my life and no one elses, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It helped me regain a sense of control that I had previously not experienced when I was busy seeing life as something that was happening to me as opposed to as something that I happened to.
I won't really preach about the merits of the course too much, though I will say that it is something I would recommend anyone to do for the peace and empowerment it provides (just don't get too frustrated by the hard-sell side fo it). I just want to point out one of the things that was most important for me coming out of the course.
Life is right now! All of us are so busy living our lives for a future that may or may not happen. If I work x-number of hours a week I'll save enough money to be able to spend time with my family someday. Or if I get this job, or this relationship, or have this much money, then I'll be really happy. Or the opposite, of I don't want to be in a relationship because I may get hurt or it may not work (I know this one well). Guess what!?! You're missing it. Life is what's happening right now. Now is the time you need to be happy in and feel fulfilled. Tomorrow never comes. When tomorrow gets here, it's right now, this moment! And yet we still live for tomorrow and someday. Live to your potential right now, and live to your passion because this is it. This is what life is. This is your life, right now.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
A Return to Love
it is time for me to release the hold my fears have over me. They no longer serve me, nor do they make me happy. I want something more!
" 'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-- From A RETURN TO LOVE
Thursday, February 02, 2006
The UK Saga: Part 6, the end
So I need to get this last post about the tour done so that I can get back to using this blog to help me figure my own stuff out.
This one is going to be pretty basic because I just don't really have the energy to devote to an extended dialogue right now. We took the bus to the airport on Saturday morning and when we got on the bus we were told that we were not going to have the afternoon practice in London. We were instead going to have a walk-through in the parking lot on Sunday morning if we could find space. We got to the airport and I was able to send out some post-cards (a little late since it was the last two days of tour) to my family and friends. When we got into London we got on yet another bus and made our way over to Kingston, where we were staying. When we got there we had a bit of time to decompress and relax before dinner, which was followed by the jersey ceremony. Then most of us just spent the evening relaxing (though I think some of the non-rostered players wandered down into Kingston to check it out). In the morning we had breakfast and then a brief meeting to go over line-outs. I spent some time trying to get packed up so that things would be easier the next morning when we had to be at the bus at 6:15am. We left to drive to the game at 12:15pm. The match went well, though we were plagued with penalties. I think the ref was unduly harsh at times towards us, but that's just me. In the end we won 21-8 (I'm pretty sure that was the score). We definitely wound up stepping up in the second half. We were really pleased to have gone 3-0 on tour and that became our mantra over the course of the evening. At the after match function, we all had some celebratory drinks and decided that we needed to go out on the town. When we got back to hotel we did our last minute packing and then we headed out for some well-earned R&R. Mari (social coordinator extraordinaire) figured out different places for us to go to. We hit up a small bar called Barcadia and had a few drinks, played some never-have-I-ever, and just hung out together. Then we went over to a club called Oceana and did some dancing. I was surprised to see the amount of energy that we had for dancing considering the fact that we had played a very intense rugby game. Jen and I left the club and wandered over to Subway to get some food before heading back to the hotel. I don't really know what the rest of the folks did with their night, but I know we all made it to the bus, which is a big accomplishment considering the fact that we had some serious stragglers last time. The flight back to the States was uneventful, and Jen and had a lot of time to talk. When we got back to Newark it was a bit chaotic as everyone gathered their bags and either was leaving the airport, or trying to catch flights, so the goodbyes were brief across the board. I said my good-byes to the Berkeley girls, knowing I'd be seeing them in a few days, and wandered out to get my rental car and head up to New Hampshire. And thus ended the U.S. tour to the UK and Ireland. Hopefully we'll have some more matches between now and World Cup, but if not, at least we have a good place to build from.
This one is going to be pretty basic because I just don't really have the energy to devote to an extended dialogue right now. We took the bus to the airport on Saturday morning and when we got on the bus we were told that we were not going to have the afternoon practice in London. We were instead going to have a walk-through in the parking lot on Sunday morning if we could find space. We got to the airport and I was able to send out some post-cards (a little late since it was the last two days of tour) to my family and friends. When we got into London we got on yet another bus and made our way over to Kingston, where we were staying. When we got there we had a bit of time to decompress and relax before dinner, which was followed by the jersey ceremony. Then most of us just spent the evening relaxing (though I think some of the non-rostered players wandered down into Kingston to check it out). In the morning we had breakfast and then a brief meeting to go over line-outs. I spent some time trying to get packed up so that things would be easier the next morning when we had to be at the bus at 6:15am. We left to drive to the game at 12:15pm. The match went well, though we were plagued with penalties. I think the ref was unduly harsh at times towards us, but that's just me. In the end we won 21-8 (I'm pretty sure that was the score). We definitely wound up stepping up in the second half. We were really pleased to have gone 3-0 on tour and that became our mantra over the course of the evening. At the after match function, we all had some celebratory drinks and decided that we needed to go out on the town. When we got back to hotel we did our last minute packing and then we headed out for some well-earned R&R. Mari (social coordinator extraordinaire) figured out different places for us to go to. We hit up a small bar called Barcadia and had a few drinks, played some never-have-I-ever, and just hung out together. Then we went over to a club called Oceana and did some dancing. I was surprised to see the amount of energy that we had for dancing considering the fact that we had played a very intense rugby game. Jen and I left the club and wandered over to Subway to get some food before heading back to the hotel. I don't really know what the rest of the folks did with their night, but I know we all made it to the bus, which is a big accomplishment considering the fact that we had some serious stragglers last time. The flight back to the States was uneventful, and Jen and had a lot of time to talk. When we got back to Newark it was a bit chaotic as everyone gathered their bags and either was leaving the airport, or trying to catch flights, so the goodbyes were brief across the board. I said my good-byes to the Berkeley girls, knowing I'd be seeing them in a few days, and wandered out to get my rental car and head up to New Hampshire. And thus ended the U.S. tour to the UK and Ireland. Hopefully we'll have some more matches between now and World Cup, but if not, at least we have a good place to build from.
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